Exhausted, my Brother and I, need prayer

[soccergirl]

Hello,

I feel selfish asking for prayer for myself, but I feel desperate so here goes...

Tonight has been a *really* bad night. My pain is out of control and I just had a huge fight with my sister and her husband, I mean HUGE fight. It was done over email and phone. I was crying so hard and I live with my friend and he did not even seem to care which made it worse.

My brother has brain damage which causes him not to be able to take care of himself. I try to help. It is hard because mentally I am the best out of my family to help him but physically I am the worst. I know what is best for him but I cannot implement it. My mom does a lot to help him, she is 69, but she does not know how to get him the right care. My sister, who I would like to have help me, help him, cannot "handle it". She basically just wants to take care of her two kids and husband and that is it. That is what the big fight was about tonight. I will probably never talk to my sister and her husband again, it was that bad, seriously. As a person with a chronic illness I cannot see how she can live with herself not helping him as best she can.

So, who takes care of me? Me. Praise the Lord I can still do it!

I pray tomorrow will be a better day and I can get some things done and not be in a big depression over what happened today. I just feel so sad and lonely right now.

Please pray for me to not to worry about this as God teaches us not to worry, and that God will watch over my Brother and that things will work themselves out for the good. He is very dear.

Thank you so much!!

Lisa

[Linda May]

Ic

Dear Lisa, sometimes things happen to us and we do not understand why.

I will pray for God to give you the strength and to let him lead your heart.

I will pray for your brother and sister as well.

I personally believe that God has a plan for all of us and when the time comes he will take us home.

This is a selfish act that I think about all the time.

I repeat the Lords prayer on a daily basis and ask for my sins to be forgiven everyday, even if I don't know I have sinned.

My whole outlook on so many things have changed since I had this IC.

I know that it has changed everyone in someway or another.

My big sister always says what don't kill you will make you stronger.

So part of my daily prayer's is to ask for strength and to let God lead me in the right direction.

I hope and pray for you to have a remmission soon and for a cure to this depilating desease, God Blees You.

[ICNDonna]

I hope things work out for your family.

Donna

[soccergirl]

Thank you so much!

Linda May,

I got your message in my email and I was so touched I am sitting here bawling over it. You said a lot of things to comfort me and so many right things, thank you for your time to help me! I am going to print out your message. I do need to ask for forgiveness and I need to forgive.

I am supposed to go the doctor in 45 minutes and I want to cancel because I am still distressed. I am not prepared to ask for what I need, I may just go anyways. He does not have a cancellation fee policy but I would insist on paying for it if I did not go.

And, Donna , when I came on here I saw your reply too - thank you so much for caring about me to post that message, it meant a lot. I am sure you do not remember but I met you at an ICA conference in Minnesota. It was so great to meet the ICNDonna in person!

Lisa

[VickiB]

Lisa, It's not al all selfish to ask for prayers for oneself! It sounds like strength is exactly what you need and that comes from within, and from God. I know your (and our) prayers will be answered.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. It must be terribly hard!


Vicki

[bubbe1]

prayer

Lisa,
I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much.
I hope things get better for you.

[soccergirl]

Prayer Life - Update

VickiB and Bubbe1, thank you for your posts, I so much appreciate it! I thought about why I felt selfish after I wrote I did and I think it is because my prayer life in general stinks. I am rarely praying for others so here I am asking for others to pray for me. Hard to admit. Yes, I do hope and wish good things people often but I do not think that is the same as specifically talking to God about it. Saying to yourself, God, please be with so and so as they....

I wish I would pray at least everyday, the Lord's prayer, and then talk to God regularly. I rarely do either. But boy, when things are going really bad, praying to God comes right to mind quick. I wish I could feel that same need to pray when things are not going really bad. I will work on it.

My Mom has been emailing between me and my sister and her husband, trying to mend the situation. And, I have told her my relationship with them is over, they are toxic to me (there is a long history here). I will try to help my brother as best I can by myself. I just have to keep in mind to take care of myself first. I am almost 42 and I STILL cannot do that!

So, I am going to *pray* for all of you on this tread after I submit this. i will ask God to bless you for being so kind to me and to heal your bladders.

Lisa

[Zygala87]

Sorry about the problems with your Sister. I don't know what the problem is but I personally rarely expect much from others therefore am never let down. Your Mom sounds like me. Since I am the oldest in our family I try to mediate peace in the family. Usually I really can see both sides of the problem. I do Pray you are able to find peace and are able to give your problems to GOD and get on with your life. Resentment and anger will cause you stress and that will hurt your IC. Whatever problems you are dealing with maybe the State can help with some respite care. I have cared for family members from start to the end and respite care gave me the strength to go on. I don't have enough information to help you but I do care. Hugs, Ziggy

[Mothergoose]

I will say a prayer for you and your family. I am also going to pray for your relationship with your sister and husband to heal. Too often in life we make decission in haste and anger and live to regrate them. More the time passes the harder it is.

My now stepsister would not talk to her mom or forgive her mom for past wrong doings even on her mother's death bed, (her mother had not been great to her and I am sure grew to regret how she had treated her, a long story) now 30+ years later is in therapy to help deal with how badly she treated her mom in her dieing days, she was in her late teens at the time a very me me stag of life, also for her actions in everyday life with haveing to deal with all these bad feelings, she turn to alcohol and promiscuity.

You can just do what you are able to do, IC makes us be a bit selfish or at least feel that way as it has a way of making us unproductive, forgive yourself.

I too believe god has a plan for all of us, we not see the big picture but he does, we may never know how we contributed to life, but I follow in belief he does.

No it is not selfish to ask for help and prayers when you need it, I used to feel this way too.

What I do is try to do at least 3 random acts of kindness a day, it's catches on and other people start to do it without realizing it. When it comes to praying I find it theraputic as it shows me all the things in my life to be thankful for, even if it is a small thing. I started by writting a list of people to thank god for, things to thank him for etc. people to pray for, world things to pray for and them if I feel I need too I pray for him to help me and give me wisdom. I try to do it each night when I go to bed, it puts my mind from go mode to sleep mode, after awhile you don't need the list it just comes naturally.

I went to a bible study class and it teaches you how to pray. I also went to a program called Alpha, I think they are offered all over, they are a nondimonational class on lots of aspects of religon, I would recomend it to anyone who wants to explore religon, it is not a church recurtment. Some people are new to god others have had a relationship forever, all kinds of people go and everyone gets something out of it.

good luck MG

[Linda May]

Ic

It took me a very long time to forgive my family for things they had done.

Thank the good Lord I was able to do this and you know what I found the hardest person to forgive was myself.

I pray daily for people and I pray for strength and for the lord to take control and keep me in the right direction.

If I feel like I have done something or said something that was not right I ask God to forgive me.

[maryla]

And many (((((Hugs))))) to you.

[Bekah79]

I will put both of you on myn prayer list.

Keep The Faith

[SueC]

[soccergirl]

How do you stop ruminating over bad things?

Hi you all,

I can't thank you enough for your posts. I wrote this big long post, taking quotes from some of your posts and talking about them, and saying more on this issue. Then I preview message. It was there and I must have hit some button because all of a sudden it was gone and never got posted and I tried the back button many times and I lost it! I was too tired to re-type the whole thing.

I just want you to know that your support has meant more than you know.

The worst thing for me now is that I keep going over and over our huge argument in my mind, replaying it, how hurt I am, wishing I would have said something but did not think of it at the time, etc . They call it ruminating. It won't stop. Unless I am completely mind occupied and you cannot do that 24/7. I have prayed and asked God to remove these thoughts from my head several times. I know this is terrible for my IC. My IC is flared due to hormone time of month so this is not helping.

If you have any tips for me this, please let me know.

Again, thank you so much for the time you have taken to post to me, God has really worked through you to comfort me.

Lisa

[Zygala87]

Lisa for me when something will not stop popping into my mind I make a mental picture of the problem and people standing at my door and I just close the door and try to think of something that is a lovely memory. If someone hurts you once, it's their fault. To continue to let that hurt overwhelm you is really your fault. For you own good and health please try to let it go. I know it is hard but not impossible. I have been there and done that. It takes a lot of determination. You don't deserve this. Hope & Hugs, Ziggy