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My father-in-law is very ill.

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  • My father-in-law is very ill.

    Unfortunately, my father-in-law has been diagnosed with metatastic cancer, that is in the lungs, kidneys and in a mass on his lower spine. He had been suffering from severe, sharp sciatic-like pain that became unbearable. An MRI revealed the mass and a biopsy confirmed the cancer. Right now we are awaiting a meeting with the appropriate doctors to determine the course of action.
    I would appreciate any thoughts or prayers for "Lee". He is 62 and was 1 month from retirement. He smoked for 40 years and had quit a few years ago. He had been eating healthy and exercising. He said his only regret in life is that he smoked and feels he brought this on himself. Of course, smoking is an addiction and he does not deserve this price tag. To any one out there that smokes, please quit. It isn't worth it. Maybe his situation will help others.
    After going through the slow decline and death of my grandma on December 20th, 2001 and 8 years of cancer with my brother Danny and watching his life end October 17th, 2002, I feel depleted of resources to help my husband through this. I had been feeling more settled about my grandma and brother. And now, this is affecting me in a way that I feel as if I am reliving a nightmare over and over again. I have decided to seek some counseling for some guidance and support. My husband needs me, not the other way around. I guess I could use some good thoughts, too. Thank you to anyone who has the time to read this. Hope you are having a pain-free bladder day.
    Hugs, Brookelyn

  • #2
    grouphug grouphug grouphug Prayers have been sent. I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Let us know how you are doing.
    Hang in there , There is hope.
    There is hope. Prayer works.

    Love, Debbie


    • #3
      I will certainly pray for your father in law. I think it is good that you are going to talk to someone. You know how difficult this is first hand. Hopefully with treatment you FIL can get some extra time. Within the last year and neighbor of our was diagnosed with cancer in his lung and kidney. He went through treatment and right now is cancer free. Treatments have come a long way. I will pray that will happen in your families case.

      Jolene grouphug

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      • #4
        Brooklyn will certainly say a prayer for your father-in-law, and sorry for your losses, it must be very hard for you, and glad to read that you are going to get some help. Please let us know how you are doing, and be glad to support you here in any way I can. Take care of yourself, and let us know how you are, hugs and prayers, Iris grouphug angel
        Today and every day you are loved, so don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of you tomorrow; Live one day at a time.


        • #5
          Brookelyn, Counseling seems like a good idea. This much grief can cause you to recycle grief, and you can become helpless. It sounds like your husband needs you very much right now.

          In an 18-month time span, I buried a son, cared for a father dying with bone cancer, and a mother with Alzheimers (who died from its complications); and afterward my IC was re-evaluated--by this time it was ulcerated.

          After the third trip to the cemetery, I reached a point where, in my nightmare-like life, I replayed each death time after time.

          I almost "lost it" before I did seek counseling. So, please, please seek help!!!!!! My waiting too long to seek help was a major mistake on my part. Some things you cannot handle alone; you need someone trained to talk with and to help you develop coping skills.

          I will pray for you, your husband, and for Lee. grouphug


          • #6
            I too am so glad you will be seeking some grief counseling. You might check with your local hospital and see if they have a cancer family support group.

            I understand what you are going through. I lost my only brother to cancer and have lost both parents --- we never completely "get over" the loss, but I promise you it will get better.

            Warm encouraging hugs and prayers,
            Stay safe

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            • #7
              grouphug I just lost my uncle to cancer in Sept, all I can offer you is lots of hugs, thoughts and prayers... no matter what any one says it don't make the pain go away, you and your family are in my thoughts.
              'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


              • #8
                I lost my mother on Dec 19 1988 due to cancer and she never smoked. I know this is hard on you. I will be praying for you and your family. grouphug
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                • #9
                  I would like to thank everyone for their kind words and support. Things are moving very slowly with determining a treatment plan. Because the tumor is on the spine and causing so much pain, the wait is sorta' nerve wracking. I have decided to distance myself ,i.e, not going to the hopsital everyday,talking on the phone constantly with family members and trying to function normally to do what needs to be done, so that I can keep some sanity and take care of my home, my son and my husband. I think it will ease some of the stress to know what the treatment plan is. It's hard to not know what is happening. Hopefully, the doctors decide soon. Hope everyone is having a good day.


                  • #10
                    Hi Brookelyn, and thanks for your update as to how things are going. I know it must be hard, until a treatment plan is arrived at for your father-in-law. Sounds like you are managing as best as you can, and giving yourself some time as well. Please keep us posted and hang in there, thinking of you and your family. Prayers to all and a hug for you, Iris angel grouphug
                    Today and every day you are loved, so don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of you tomorrow; Live one day at a time.