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Depressed with Diet; eating out of control

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  • Depressed with Diet; eating out of control

    TWhen I was diagnosed with IC many years ago, I went on Elmiron and it helped so fast I actually forgot that I had it. I was fine for 6 years. Then BOOM, it came back.

    So I figured I had to use the Elmiron for a few months, and It would be OK. So I hoped.
    And it got better and worse and better and worse, and I've tried all the testing and such, but testing sure is for me prtty meaningless when you don't know how long things take to hurt, some foods and OK and then not, and you can have flares with no bad food whatsoever.

    Then, as I was going thru this, I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which makes your whole body hurt and get going through the motions of the day hurt. And now I also have Fear of Food (FOF) and frankly there's just nothing that I want to eat anymore. I am sick of everything. I appreciate the recipies that people have put out, and I can eat bland stuff for a while. I miss Mexican, I miss Thai, I miss being able to eat out at a restaurant. When I go to my sister;s house, she naturally forgets what I can't eat and has a hard time believig me.

    "You can't year yougurt? But it's so GOOD for you!"

    So WHat do I do? I should not eat sugar because it's addictive and I don't feel good about it physically or mentally. But what CAN I eat that I like? Well, of course, all kinds of cards, complex and simple. I love complex carbs. But I gain weight on it and don't feel great---and THAT"S most of what I can eat?

    So after a few days of Boring Bland Food I go crazy, like today, and eat 6 cookies, pumpkin bread, coffee cake, chocolate stuff I shouldn't have eaten including five chocolate cookies, two almond Starbucks thing, a cream cheese roll. Also some Peanut MMs and 3 dove small chocolates. And a strawberry (yes STRAWBERRY) poptart. Did I mention I ate all that today>

    It was like I didn't really want it, and was angry at the Ic, saying SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO??????????

    I can't stand to lose avacado. I can't stand to have no dressing on salads and sandwiches. Mostly, I HATE the lack of variety. I need low card and hi protein too, and lots of IC recipies are heavy on carbs.

    Because of the Fibro some days I don't leave the house, or can't exercise. I don't call my friends because I get jealous hearing what a normal life is like.

    On my yes, I have tried recipies and they have turned out servicable. Food is servicible. It is not anything I enjoy anymore. It is something to do to not be hungry. Yes, I've been to a therapist, are on meds, blah. My husband does the cooking and I have boxed him out of making all the things he likes even when I tell him to do it so he's not so affected by me.

    I wish I hadn't eaten so much today. Yet when I wake up, there it will be again.

    Nothing really to eat, and another boring day.
    IC for 10 years
    Comorbid vulvulitis, depression,
    Happily married
    Lucky to have this forum
    I feel your pain (in more ways than one)
    What I miss most: fruit and eating normally

  • #2
    Aww, I can TOTALLY relate!! When I first started the bland (to say the least) IC diet a month ago when I was diagnosed, I was happy just to have *some* pain relief. But now the frustration is setting in. I, too, miss Thai food (my FAVORITE), spices, fruits and yogurt (used to be my breakfast), and especially chocolate, (among other things). Sometimes I get so ****** at my bladder and the pain I just say "screw it" and eat whatever I want for a day, only to regret it for the next week. I used to eat a pretty varied and healthy diet, but now I find myself eating a lot of cookies, cupcakes, chocolate and crackers. I don't feel healthy and I don't feel good about food anymore. I really want to see a nutritionist or at least a therapist about this. Going out to eat used to be one of my favorite things, but now it's nothing but stress.

    What really sucks is that IC seems to make some of life's greatest and most primal pleasures UNpleasurable: i.e. sex hurts, sleeping is difficult, and eating is a boring, frustrating and somewhat anxiety-ridden experience. Currently, I'm trying to get back on a healthy eating track (lots of fresh fish, veggies and pure blueberry juice), and allow myself to have *one* day a week where I can eat the junkie stuff. Eventually I want to give myself only one junkie day every two weeks.

    Don't be too hard on yourself about the binge - just try to remind yourself that this disease requires a very tricky diet, and it's normal to go through periods of negative food/eating issues, (yesterday I ate 2 humongous vanilla cupcakes, one entire Lindt white chocolate bar and 4 large cookies Yep, feelin' bummed today FOR SURE). I think it's all too easy to slip into unhealthy patterns, and to seek comfort in certain foods when the IC gets especially frustrating. I burst out in embarrassing tears at my doctor appointment yesterday (this was shortly before the sweets binge), and felt silly for not controlling my emotions. We spend so much time trying to control our roiling emotions that they find ways to break out sooner or later.

    Keep your chin up and try R.W. Knudsen's Pure Blueberry juice (no fillers, no preservatives). It's very tasty and helps me when I'm craving fruit.

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    • #3
      I'm sure you've already thought about this, but what about prelief, tums, or other anti-acid sorts of things? Can they help you ease back into a wider diet?

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      • #4
        Yes--I forgot to mention that I have tried all the antacids, Prelief and so on. Part of the problem was that I ran out of the Prelief and couldn't find it in stores. There is a CVS that used to stock it and now they don't. Well, I gotta blame myself, but now at least I know that I need the Prelief.

        Thank you, S., for your note. We are a lot alike! I could have written your post.
        IC for 10 years
        Comorbid vulvulitis, depression,
        Happily married
        Lucky to have this forum
        I feel your pain (in more ways than one)
        What I miss most: fruit and eating normally

        Comment

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