What to tell people

[Cakes88]

I follow the IC diet religiously. Often at restaurants or parties when I tell someone that I can't eat chocolate/citrus/soy/whatever, they'll say "Oh, do you have allergies?"

I don't want to lie and say it's allergies (a blessedly simple-to-understand excuse), but at the same time I don't really want to launch into a discussion about my bladder with someone I don't know well and am unlikely to ever see again. Any suggestions?

[Zygala87]

Saying "I have medical issues that require me to take caution as to what I ingest." Then just change the subject sounds like a good way to go. Once anyone mentions one's bladder many people think you must wear depends. They will never get it and why bother. I just eat what I want and I don't feel I need to explain to anyone why or for what reason. Normal healthy people have like & dislikes. Do you have allergies? I think most people have some sort of allergies. My Gram use to say "I like tomatoes but they don't like me" When invited to someones home for dinner I do need to tell them there are certain foods that I am unable to eat due to health problems. I wouldn't want them to go through trouble to make a nice meal that could throw me into a major flare. Mostly they are close friends and already know of my problems. I hope this helps in some way. Hugs, Ziggy

[Linda May]

Ic

In a way you do have allergies our bladder reacts to certain foods and beverages.

[ICNDonna]

When I think of allergies, I see it as meaning your body reacts to certain foods --- it could be a cough, skin rash, or PAIN --- I don't hesitate to think of my food triggers as being allergies. I also like the statement, "I like it, but it doesn't like me."

Donna

[KatieB]

Personally, I don't have a problem with saying "I have allergies". I don't think anyone wants to hear about my bladder at a party. And allergies is someone everyone can understand. I don't consider it a lie, I consider it polite conversation. Then the conversation can just move on without my bladder being a topic. That being said, since Oct I've not really had a chance to use that line as the thought of dressing in something other than my pajama pants just makes me hurt. If I were to show up at a party in pj pants, now THAT would start up a conversation.

[Braedley]

When I think of allergies, I see it as meaning your body reacts to certain foods --- it could be a cough, skin rash, or PAIN --- I don't hesitate to think of my food triggers as being allergies. I also like the statement, "I like it, but it doesn't like me."

Donna

I often tell people it's simply allergies or what Donna said "I like it, but it doesn't like me", and that usually suffices
if people REALLY need to know or keep asking, I'll tell them...
your body is reacting like an allergy to the triggers, it's just not an external sign people could see when you do, like hives...

[judy45]

I say "food Allergies" when I need to ask if something is marinated or prepared a special way or can they leave "tomatoes out". That is what I tell most people I know too, and when they ask me what I am "allergic" to I say just about everytyhing. Most people can wrap their tiny brains around this and restaurants are very understanding the minute you say "allergies"

[smilesplease]

allergies

Hi, Agree with most of the other IC comments here. I hate to lie about my health, because then it just becomes a cover up, but who really cares if you lie to a waitress or waiter that you will never see again. OR even if you see them again, then they will understand you are "allergic to everything" and will be happy to help you with the menu. I have only ventured out to a few restaraunts a few times, since last September, and I have had both good and bad experiences. I found out, I need to stay on the IC diet or just not eat anything. I also carry tea bags with me (the only one kind I can tolerate) and order a cup of hot water or hot tea and use my own tea bags. They really don't care. If I am scared to eat something new, I just eat one or two bites and take the rest home to try later if I don't have a flare from it. Many of my friends say to me " OH, you hardly ate anything", but I know I can't risk it, so I just deal with their comments. I am a nervous nelly person and am very sensitive to what people say or think, but IC is making me be braver, since I can not tolerate the pain!

[ICNDonna]

I don't consider it a lie when I tell a waiter that I'm allergic to something --- if it causes me pain, that's definitely a reaction to the food or drink.

Donna

[bluetou]

I am a very private person, and only my family (meaning my husband, my kids, my parents, and my husbands parents) know I have IC. I do not feel it is anyone elses business about my health and my health issues.

When faced with a situation where I am in front of food I can not eat, I also say what most of the above ladies have mentioned, stating I have some food allergies along with food sensitivities. AND that is all I SAY.

To be honest when we were invited to a friends place to eat, I BROUGHT my own food. Instead of stressing out the hostess with what I could or could not eat, I brought my own food (and even a bit of it to share, to which they wanted the recipe for!)

I find when I am in a public forum where there is a buffet style oferred most times we bring some food to add to that buffet selection, and then I stick with my OWN food and EAT my own food.

IF I can not, and this is not an option, then honestly I will eat before I go out, and munch on raw veggies, or fruit if available (or make up a salad with dressing oils like olive oil...etc.

I use to really stress in the beginning about being in public and food, and what my food choices could be, and what would thoughts of others be...etc. I have gotten SO over it, and I live my life to be healthy and pain free, so if it means bringing my own food to an invited dinner to a friends place, then I do this (and they are so understanding, and it takes stress of them as to what to feed me) (They are actually relieved I bring my own)

Peace
Blue

[VickiB]

from the free dictionary online...

al·ler·gy (lr-j)
n. pl. al·ler·gies
1. An abnormally high sensitivity to certain substances, such as pollens, foods, or microorganisms. Common indications of allergy may include sneezing, itching, and skin rashes.

I'm thinking saying allergy is not exactly a lie. A high sensitivity to food certainly fits. It's more like a "stretch" since the IC reaction doesn't conform to the usual "common indications" like sneezing that people tend to think of when you say allergy.

In the end, I figure nobody (hostess, wait person, chef, etc) really cares to split hairs on this anyway. It is what it is,...I can't eat it without suffering a reaction!

[sailawaygrl]

I agree with the allergy answer, but everytime I find myself saying that I stammer. I always stammer when I feel uncomfortable, so then I think the don't believe me. I know I shouldn't care but I do.

I have a large extended family and we are close, so they all know what I have. I have also always been a picky eater so now I just tell them that I was preparing my whole life to have IC! I recently had to ask some of my family to change the restaurant we had planned to go to because I checked their menu online and couldn't find anything I felt comfortable eating. I felt really bad about it but the promised me it was ok.

I guess I will stand in front of the mirror and practice my allergy line. Haha

[cmclien]

I was at a girls night out with my neighbors last summer and I kept popping prelief because I was drinking wine and one of my neighbors said "everything all right, you're sure popping alot of pills" like they were drugs or something! So I had to explain they were for my bladder blah blah blah and it was uncomfortable.
I really like the "I Like blank but blank doesn't like me", I've used that one alot. My good friends know I have IC, others I don't mention it to but once in awhile I do get looks as I pop the prelief so I can have a half normal meal out.

[cosake]

I guess I would consider it to be a food allergy -- your bladder is "allergic" to certain types of foods. It's not really a lie -- you just don't have the "common" symptoms of food allergies / sensitivities.

I recently had an experience at a restaurant out with the girls where I couldn't eat almost everything on the menu - spicy mexican. I had to tell the waitress that I couldn't eat anything spicy and wanted a salad with unspiced raw veggies and plain breaded fried chicken on it.

It felt weird to tell her I couldn't eat spices -- without explaining more. I felt bad - like a whiner. I gave her a really good tip though, because she did go out of her way for me and everything I ordered came just the way I asked for it.

I think I may start using the "food sensitivities" reason when I need to.